To meet the parenting needs of your
toddler/preschool-aged sons and daughters, you must first learn and
understand the developmental differences between girls and boys. Boys and
girls are naturally different in many ways, right from the start. Most
experts agree girls reach developmental milestones earlier than boys, such
as talking. Girls also seem to develop hand-eye coordination at an earlier
age than boys do. Higher testosterone levels and lower levels of serotonin
stimulates more aggressive behavior in boys. Girls appear to have more
control of their emotions earlier-on.
Talk and read to your boys (and
girls, of course). Boys may generally talk later than girls due to their
parents spending less time talking to them than to their little girls. Your
children's brain grows most rapidly during their first few years of life.
Regular conversation is critical. Understand that girls tend to be better
listeners than boys, as they have the ability to concentrate for longer
periods of time.
Baby boys are generally more
medically fragile than baby girls, meaning they may need more attention.
Baby boys are more easily stressed and are often much harder to calm down
than baby girls. In contrast, many well-meaning parents are afraid of giving
their sons too much attention; afraid they will turn their sons into "mama's
boys". Parents have a tendency of providing less emotional support to their
sons and their intellectual development suffers more than girls when
deprived of affection, some research suggests.
On the other hand, many parents
rush in to help their daughters more quickly than their sons when struggling
to do a task. Trying, failing and trying again; finally succeeding, develops
confidence and self-reliance. Stepping in too quickly can lead them to feel
helpless. Next time your daughter is trying to stack blocks or is doing
something which is challenging to her, allow her to struggle a bit without
immediately stepping in to assist.
Studies have shown parents tend to
tolerate mild physical aggression from boys more than they do from girls.
This may have a big impact on the greater use of physical aggression boys
exhibit with peers as well as at home. Even with so many differences between
boys and girls, there are rules and expectations that should be taught
similarly to both genders. Both sons as well as daughters need to be taught
to regard others' feelings, to be compassionate, to be respectful, to be
strong, confident and independent. Don't allow physical aggression to seem
more acceptable for boys than girls. Show boys alternatives to aggressive
behavior such as hitting and throwing things. Set a good example, as well.
The men in boys' lives have a particularly strong influence on their
behavior. Also, having a pet to care for can encourage nurturing behavior in
your son.
